Malaysian National Seminar 2005
I Believe
When I told Errol that I would be attending the Malaysian National Seminar this year, he exclaimed, "Malaysia is such an amazing place!” It truly is, mostly because of the wonderful Malaysian collective, and partly because of the wide selection of delicious food available there. I must admit that I didn’t expect much from the seminar this time because I was mainly there to see my mom after her extended trip to India. But once again I've acquired so much more than I've ever asked for, not to mention my overweight luggage that was loaded with gifts and love from the Malaysia yogis on my return trip.
Since I moved to Australia last year, attending international pujas and seminars have become more difficult for me because of my studies as well as the money issue. It’s just so expensive to travel from Australia to the rest of the world. Therefore, it takes a little bit of give and take to work out my yearly travelling plans. This year, I decided to pass up the Shivaratri and Birthday Pujas but to go to Malaysia instead. It is of course always nice to go to a puja, but I must emphasize that attending the Malaysian seminar is equally beneficial. The only difference is that in pujas we get to see Shri Mataji’s physical form and receive Her vibrations directly from Her; while in Malaysia, we experience Shri Mataji’s love manifested through the open hearts of the collective, where the bond between brothers and sisters, the feeling of being home with our family is just overwhelming. This pure love I felt so tremendously from the Malaysian collective is simply something that money cannot buy.
Similar to last year’s seminar, we had a whole itinerary of programs lined up for us during the 4-day seminar; only that this year everything took place in an air-conditioned hall, which made it all the better. The numerous events included icebreaker activities, updates on Sahaja Yogaactivities in various countries, sharing experiences, movie, introspection session, clearing, music performances, self realisation program, as well as a bunch of very enlightening presentations, just to name a few. I must confess that my mom and I did skip a couple of activities because she claimed to have developed this habit of taking afternoon naps after staying in India for over a month; while my excuse would be clearing of my left-sidedness that has developed over the past few months living in Australia.
Anyway, among those activities, I’d like to mention that the introspection session led by Ramesh touched me the most deeply. When he asked us to think back to our first “wow” moment in SY, I remembered the first time I saw Shri Mataji during the 2003 Guru Puja in Cabella, and Quinnie said to me, “ Congratulations! You finally get to see Shri Mataji after so many lifetimes of seeking.” And then my heart went “Wow! Finally, I am seeing the Adi Shakti right in front of my eyes.” And my heart was just overwhelmed with joy, gratefulness and love. And then Ramesh asked us to remember the love we feel when Shri Mataji looks at us, and when She smiles, it’s so beautiful that it just melts all our worries away. I can’t remember his exact words, but maybe it’s the way Ramesh spoke (because he has such a beautiful voice) with such great feelings that it touched my heart very deeply. It’s just so wonderful to remember and embrace that feeling of pure divine love again in my heart. Another session that I enjoyed very much was the presentation “Nature and Sahaja Yoga” done by Lat. She brought our attention to the connection between nature and Sahaja Yoga that we, or should I say myself, never understood or even thought of. She asked a question before the presentation, “Why are there so many planets and universes? Why didn’t God just create one planet?” And after her presentation she gave us her answer to that question. She said that God created so many things, more than we’ll ever need, so that no matter where we look, we are reminded of His love. Once again, I couldn’t remember her exact words, but she spoke with so much love (and may I mention that Lat also has a beautiful voice) that my heart was so touched. And to conclude her presentation, she recited a beautiful poem by William Blake (I think?) that I just had to feel overwhelmed all over again.
The theme of this year’s seminar was “believe”. After the various presentations and activities we took, I was starting to introspect on how much faith I really had for Shri Mataji, for Sahaja Yoga, and for myself as a yogini. But nothing gave me more faith than the Ajwan treatment that Uncle Ivan gave me. After the seminar, Stephen and Mei invited us for a trip to Langkawi, which involved a lot of sight-seeing, shopping, and of course food sampling. It’s always so nice to spend time with yogis, and we just don’t know how to express our gratitude for the hospitality Stephen and Mei showed us. I hope it wasn’t too tiring for them and that they’ve recovered from the constant travelling. Afterwards, we stayed at Uncle Ivan and Aunty KT’s place, where we were extremely well received and taken care of. And of course we made full use of our time there, bombarding them with a lot of questions, and they were ever so patient and caring to share their advices and experiences with us. They are just like two loving parents that we couldn’t withhold ourselves from sharing all our feelings and thoughts with them. I guess that’s the kind of magnetic quality of a guru that Shri Mataji talked about (I know Uncle Ivan would say that I'm his enemy now because I am pampering his ego - not that i think he has any 
). They are kind of like two huge sponges that possess the capacity to absorb everything we spill out from us. The four of us even talked until 2 a.m. one night aside from the numerous conversations we had during the day. I am so grateful that they took the time to listen and we had learnt so much from them, mainly to “go beyond our agnya”. We were a little confused as to how we could achieve that state. Uncle Ivan said that when you go beyond your agnya, you see yet you don’t see, you hear yet you don’t hear. I just felt that he spoke yet he didn’t speak; he answered yet he didn’t answer. And I understood yet I didn’t understand, so I wonder if that was going beyond my agnya. And upon hearing my complaint about being left-sided, Uncle Ivan gave me an Ajwan treatment in his front yard. And then he told me that actually I wasn’t really left-sided (I guess my left-sidedness just left me as soon as I came to Malaysia, hahaha – how embarrassing!). Anyway, he was so patient to clear each and every chakra for me, and that was the first time I really felt no catches in me (except the times when I couldn’t feel any vibrations on my fingers at all). I was never good at feeling vibrations, but Uncle Ivan kept emphasizing that we all have the power within us, which we tend to neglect. And I started to realize that I too have the same power on my hands, and that’s when I really started to believe. For the first time, I felt truly cleared out and balanced, and I could feel cool breeze on both hands. It just gave me so much faith that I felt like I could conquer anything if I just believe and surrender to the divine.
This trip to Malaysia has been another life-changing experience for me. My heart was showered by so much love from the Malaysian collective that it just opened up like a beautiful flower. I no longer feel left-sided when I return to Australia this time because I know that Mother’s love is always with me (this reminds me of the story told by a yogi during the seminar about how Shri Mataji would turn into a lot of small angels that sit on our shoulders as we leave, and shines a light in front of us when we’re walking in the dark) and I have so many brothers and sisters in Sahaja Yoga whom I can truly call my family.
Jai Shri Mataji,
Eugena
21 May 2005